Published March 18, 2019 by

HIWMBAFM Special Chapter: Shiki and the S-Chop

This is a bonus chapter, that I wrote from the point of view of Shiki Moriyama about three years ago. It didn't really turn out as well as I wanted, so it became lost on my computer, but I decided to post it only on this website. I may edit it again later on, but until then, please enjoy!

Bonus Chapter

By Shiki Moriyama

Special exorcist Agent Shiki Moriyama here. You may remember me from back when that kid Daisuke got himself kidnapped by a bunch of wolf Obake. I immediately dropped my lunch and heroically rushed halfway across the country to save the day, but Aki's student Itsuki had already dusted them by the time I arrived.

That kid Itsuki never ceases to amaze me. His quick thinking and impressive skills remind me of my old teacher, and it's almost like he can mysteriously sense where the Obake are lurking.

Until now you've unfortunately been forced to listen to the insane ramblings of young Daisuke Matsumoto, but luckily for you guys, I've come to save you from his teenage angst, miserable love life, terrible exorcist skills, and give you a more mature insight into the exorcist world. I'm here to tell you about the real hero of this story.


You may not hear much about the great Shiki Moriyama because I'm busy traveling the world on dangerous secret missions. That I'm banned from talking about. But I've got plenty of exciting stories to keep you on the edge of your seat. I even started writing my own book, until that killjoy Shinta Watanabe got his wrinkly hands on my drafts and made his underlings rip them up in my face. I'll always remember his look of joy as they tossed the pieces up into the air like an explosion.

After a three hour argument (where Shinta threatened to give that suckup Arashi Ueda my job) he finally agreed to let me tell you this one story which isn't highly classified information. Or at least I think he did. He never sent my request back with a rejection stamp, so I assume that I'm good to go.

Today I will gift you with the tale of how I ingeniously invented my famous special attack, the S-Chop.

It all began many years ago. A summer like no other, when I was still a student training under the great Daisuke Matsumoto.

Unlike that kid who can't even use a charm to save his life, the original Daisuke Matsumoto was the greatest exorcist of the century. He was strong, wise, handsome, and a brilliant mentor. Just imagine what a hero should be and try to picture that.

My teacher was the organisation's best exorcist, so the fam had to pull some serious strings to get me a place under his care. I was super excited about it too, until they shipped me off to that crumbling shrine in the middle of nowhere. It only looked slightly less decrepit back then, but there were no women, so we were free to walk around in our underpants.

On the day of my great discovery, Aki, the cool Daisuke Matsumoto, and I were training in the back garden.

My teacher was demonstrating his archery, so both Aki and I stood back and watched as every arrow hit the middle of the target without fail.

Then Aki turned to our teacher, and probably said something like "dude if I was gay, I would so date you." maybe he didn't say anything like that…...but given the absolute look of adoration sparkling in his eyes, I'm sure that he was thinking it.

Back then, Aki was even more of a nerd than he is now. He could recite over half our textbooks by heart and never deviated from the rules. He always used to rant about how I cut corners and didn't study enough, like he'd taken it upon himself to become my personal babysitter. It was like he was born for telling young people what to do.

"Can you pass me another arrow?" asked our teacher.

Being the most talented apprentice, I naturally reached forward to get some arrows for him first, but Aki was also trying to suck up and make himself look good, so we both grabbed them at the same time.

"Allow me," said Aki.

"No, I got this," I said.

"Like that time when you dropped them all on his foot?"

"That only happened once."

"You almost disabled him."

"He was fine."

"One went through his shoe and we had to take him to hospital."

"That was a whole month ago. Why won't you let it go already!" I hissed back.

We were so busy arguing that someone had already pulled the arrows out of the target and handed them back to Daisuke.

I guess it must have been Arashi Ueda. That shameless suck up may be a pain in the butt now, but back then he was still chubby and cute. Arashi was annoying at times, but he used to look up to me like an idol and would do almost anything I said. It was great because we could always out vote Aki on all the important decisions, like what to eat for lunch.

"Thanks Arashi," said our teacher and he gave the kid a pat on the head. Arashi smiled so brightly that it was like he was born to suck-up to others.

Back then women weren't allowed to become exorcists, but that didn't stop our teacher's younger sister, Kanako, barging in there at least once a week demanding to join us.

And right on cue, she burst through the back door to make our lives difficult. Although the two of us were never friends, I have to admit that she was pretty cute back then in her private school uniform with a little ribbon in her hair. I would have dated her if she wasn't crazy, angry, violent, and once burnt my eyebrows off.

Her parents had her engaged to Aki back then. The two of them were obviously very sensitive about the issue, which is why I said "look Aki! It's the wife!"

Aki instantly dropped all the arrows he was holding. The guy quickly tried to pick them all up, but I could see his face turning red.

"Shiki," greeted Kanako darkly. I don't know why, but for some reason she seemed to hate me. I may have made constant jokes about her becoming Aki's housewife, but I was only stating the facts.

"What are you doing here? This place is boys only!" said Arashi with his hands on his hips. He glanced over at me like he was looking for my approval. I gave him a nod.

"I wouldn't be here if mother hadn't sent me," she muttered, but it was obvious that she'd turned up to try and steal our exorcist moves again. "Mother told me to bring you this," said Kanako as she handed our teacher a lunch box wrapped in a pink cloth. Daisuke spent almost all his time working, so his mother still made his lunch every day. "And there's one for Akito too," she mumbled and shoved another bag into Akito's chest. I could see to my darling future son written on the outside in large letters.

I was a little disappointed that she hadn't brought me lunch too, but I'd rather starve than be forced to marry Kanako.

I kind of hoped she'd leave, but in half a second she was already across the garden examining our exorcist stuff.

"What's this?" asked Kanako as she looked at a bunch of charms drying in the sun. That girl never missed a chance to spy on us, and one moment later she was already leafing through a textbook.

I sighed. Our teacher had given up forcing her to go home, so it looked like we'd have to endure her female hormones for hours.

I decided to take a different approach and make the best out of a horrible situation.

"I guess now that you're here, you might as well clean something," I said and handed Kanako a pair of rubber gloves. "That old lady who does the cleaning took a trip to Hawaii and the garbage has been piling up. And while you're at it, the bathroom and toilet could also do with a good scrub."

In my defence, I never had any sisters so I didn't know how to talk to girls. But Kanako could have just said no instead of trying to shove the rubber gloves down my throat. Our teacher eventually managed to pull her away, but I got stuck with polishing all the weaponry as punishment. It took me hours, and in a cruel twist of fate, I had to use the rubber gloves to stop the chemicals from damaging my hands.

Of course being the great guy I am, I tried to pass it all off to Arashi when no one was looking (The kid looked more than thrilled to do it) but Daisuke decided to supervise me himself. I was still polishing daggers when Daisuke, Aki, Arashi, and I left for patrol later that evening.

"You should have left those behind," said Aki as he noticed me polishing a small metal knife as we walked through the forest behind headquarters. I know that I should have been watching out for Obake, but Daisuke was so awesome that the rest of us didn't have to try.

"Who died and made you teacher?" I angrily retorted. "And I'm almost done."

"Akito is right, Shiki," said Daisuke. "An exorcist must pay attention to their surroundings at all times."

"Thanks a lot Akito, thanks a lot," I mouthed to the snitch next to me. I took off the rubber gloves and placed them in my back pocket along with the cloth and knife. "There probably isn't anything out here tonight anyway."

"Oh, I think it's too early to say that," said Daisuke. "I have a feeling that we've been followed for a while now."

I stood there wondering what sort of terrible beast could be stalking us, but he reached behind a tree and yanked his younger sister out.

Kanako was dressed in a black tracksuit with her hair tied back into a ponytail. She was also carrying an old fashion bow over her shoulder along with several arrows and paper charms.

"Kanako," said Daisuke with a sigh. "You have to stop doing this."

"Yeah, how's Akito gonna eat if you don't start practicing your cooking," said Arashi.

"Nice one!" I said and gave the kid a high five.

"Kanako," said Daisuke. "Father will kill you if he finds out that you followed us out on patrol."

"Why? Why can't I go out on patrol with you guys?" she protested. "I'm just as good at using charms! You said that I'm even better than Shiki!"

"Hey!" I said, but she ignored me and continued.

"I know that they might not accept girls now," said Kanako."But if I can prove that girls can be exorcists too, then they might just let me in!"

"Kanako," said Daisuke. "I know how much you want to join, but this isn't the way. There are far more calm and peaceful ways of getting your point across."

"Like having Akito's babies!" said Arashi and Kanako glared at him angrily.

"Come on, let's go back." Daisuke grabbed his sister's arm and began to lead her away. "Mother and father must be worried about you."

"Well, well, well," said a menacing voice from within the darkness. "Looks like we got ourselves a bunch of juicy steaks."

Daisuke's locator charm suddenly glowed brightly, then three human like monsters and a wolf emerged from the forest behind us. They were pretty scruffy looking, but one guy had a tattoo over most of his face and was rocking a cool leather jacket. I couldn't help but admire how shiny it was, and made a mental note to go buy one for myself.

"Wolf Obake," said Daisuke while eyeing them hesitantly.

Arashi screamed, dived behind me, and clung to my jacket like his life depended on it.

"There's no need to freak out like that," said Akito. "The organisation has a treaty with the wolf clan in return for leaving humans alone. They can't do anything."

"I see that you've been completing all your assignments, Akito," said Daisuke with a smile.

"Yeah, but who's to say that we don't follow those wolf monsters," said the guy with the tattoo. "Maybe we've decided to break away and make our own gang. A man eating gang."

"Fat chance," I said. "If you break the truce, your psycho boss will have you for breakfast."

One of the wolves growled. "You exorcists only made up that stupid treaty because you're too terrified of us obliterating you all."

"Well if you're all so great, then you wouldn't have signed it. Somebody's obviously scared of a bunch of little humans," I sang.

"Shiki," said Daisuke. He then turned to the wolves and attempted to negotiate. "Easy now. I don't think your boss would be pleased if he discovered you attacking humans."

"Yeah," said Arashi. "And he's a scaredy cat!"

"How dare you insult the great wolf clan!" cried one guy in human form. He reverted into a wolf and lept towards Arashi. Daisuke pushed Kanako back, then pulled a thin sword out from beneath his clothes to block the attack. The wolf monsters were obviously child's play for someone as great as Daisuke, but he couldn't dust them because of the treaty.

Arashi panicked and dashed off into the forest. Another wolf broke away from the group and dashed after him, followed by the guy with the tattoo.

I could see that Daisuke was torn between protecting his sister and saving his student.

"Shiki, you go after Arashi!" He yelled. "We'll hold them off here!"

"Roger!" I yelled and ran after Arashi and the two wolf monsters. I had to save him before he was eaten alive. As annoying as the little brat was, I couldn't allow a guy who was that great at sneaking into women's change rooms to die a pointless death.

I dashed through the forest after Arashi's screams of terror. Eventually emerging into a clearing to find the kid crying behind a tree, and one of the wolf monster's trying to persuade his hungry comrade not to eat my friend.

"Just give it up already Nao! It's not worth it!" yelled the tattoo guy.

"But he looks so young and juicy," said the wolf named Nao. "I'm sure that no one will ever notice that he's gone."

"The boss will kill you if you eat another kid!"

"Just one bite," said Nao as saliva dripped from his mouth. "And then I promise that I'll stop."

Nao dived towards Arashi. It didn't look like I could make it in time, so I threw a knife at the Obake. It seem like a great idea, but my aim was still lacking back then, so my only weapon missed and went sailing into the bushes. I didn't have any other knives, so I dove at the wolf monster and knocked him away from Arashi with my shoulder.

The wolf flew into a nearby tree and let out a yelp of pain, but he was soon on his feet again circling Arashi like a shark.

I reached into my pockets to come up with something else, but all I had was a bunch of lightning charms and the rubber gloves.

And then it hit me.

What happened next is highly classified information that I'm not allowed to write about (in case some sly Obake discovers my technique) but all you need to know is that it was amazing, and that my right hand was suddenly a massive ball of lightning.

I charged towards the wolf and he dashed towards me in a dramatic confrontation. It look like he had the upper hand, but then I dived to the left at the last moment and punched the monster with my super lightning hand. My punch hit the right side of his stomach and the monster collapsed like he'd been paralyzed.

"Take that!" I shouted in victory. "That's what you get for messing with us exorcists!"

"Yeah!" shouted Arashi who'd suddenly emerged from behind his tree, and forgotten that he'd been sobbing like an infant moments earlier. "You don't stand a chance against us!"

"Exorcists rule!" I yelled.

"Bring it fools!" added Arashi, but I quickly clamped my hands over his mouth to stop him from provoking the wolf Obake again.

The guy with the tattoo came and picked up his paralyzed friend. I could see that he probably wanted to eat us as well, but he was a lot smarter than the other idiot.

"You may have won this battle, brat," he said. "But don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll be safe from us forever."

He then threw the paralyzed wolf over his shoulder and slowly carried him back into the forest.

"The boss won't kill me, will he?" asked Nao sadly. "We were only defending ourselves. That little human was clearly trying to exorcise us."

"Maybe, if you're lucky he might be in a good mood today."

"He's holding us back. I miss eating the humans."

"Tell me something I don't know. If Tsune has his way, we may be free again soon."

It sounds like he was right because a few years later their wolf Obake overload was murdered and overthrown by one of their own. Then those stupid wolf monsters were free to pillage and fight to their heart's delight. Seems like there isn't much loyalty among those dogs after all.

If that wasn't bad enough, my teacher and mentor was suddenly murdered by a fox monster and our whole organization started going downhill. I knew we'd become desperate when they started letting girls in. I thought Kanako would have joined in a heartbeat, but Daisuke's death hit her hard, and both she and her father broke away from the exorcist world.

Luckily guys like me were there to pick up the slack, and after years of hard work I finally managed to refine the S-chop into the amazing special move that it is today. With the wolf monsters targeting humans again, the organization needed a special agent to help hunt them down and I scored the job. My life is full of danger, adventure, and any day could be my last. I have plenty of exciting tales to tell everyone (once the organization lets me) so stay tuned for more fantastic stories from the great Shiki Moriyama.

Until next time,

Shiki Moriyama.

How I Was Murdered By A Fox Monster

They say life flashes before you in that moment before death. I could see it all reflected in the blade. I was standing under the cherry blossoms at my school entrance ceremony, eating cake at my sister's wedding, standing outside praying the monster wouldn't come tonight. I might not be dead yet but I can see what's coming, this is the story of how I was murdered by a fox monster!

Book Two: How I Was Murdered By A Monster King

Daisuke here. Last time we met I joined a secret organization of exorcists who hunt down evil monsters which are disguised as regular animals. My training was going great until a super powerful fox monster attacked and my teacher tried to kill me. Now my friends and the organization are accusing me of being a monster in human form, but that can’t be possible, can it?

Read a free preview online here.   Chapter 1Chapter 2,  Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Chapter 5